Tuesday, October 28, 2014

A day in my life:
Get up.
Think "what is that smell?"
Get kids up
Clean up the mess K10 (AKA: Beast) made during the night
Serve Breakfast
Don't cry over all the spilt milk
Drop kids off at school
Arrive home
Think "what is that smell?"
try to wake teenager for homeschool.
check teenager's pulse - yup still alive - nope not awake

Think "what is that smell?"
Start laundry
GAG from smell of last weeks laundry still in the washer
walk away. just walk away and take a deep breath. 
Wonder "was that the smell? Couldn't be...could it?"
Go outside contemplate the pile of leaves
Go inside
try to wake teenager for homeschool.
check teenager's pulse - yup still alive 
wonder where the dogs are
open front door and call
see dogs run home 
sigh
search house for smell
put trash out
pray smell goes away

nope 
try to wake teenager for homeschool.
check teenager's pulse - yup still alive 
think about taking a shower
walk past green brick
wait - isn't that supposed to be an aquarium?
tilt head to side and ponder the strange alien looking spiky brown balls that float past and swirl around tank.
wonder where the fish are...
open lid
good news - found the smell
wait...That is NOT good news!
frantically grab fish net and start scooping strange balls
Realize that spiky balls are actually dog food.
Yell for Beast
Ask beast if she put dog food in the aquarium
frantically try to find a fish in the muck
Listen to beast sob as she realizes that she has killed EVERY FISH in the aquarium 
Clean up the murder scene
haul smelly fish to trash

sob
look at total destruction in my house
throw up my hands
decide moving is for the birds
crawl back in bed and pray for a better tomorrow.
groan when alarm on phone rings to remind me to feed K9 lunch before taking him to kindergarten
Wonder how so many things can happen in such a short amount of time.
glance at alcohol

nope - still too early
try to wake teenager for homeschool.
check teenager's pulse - yup still alive 
But good news! He groaned. I think he might wake up soon!
Take K09 to kindergarten
stop at grocery store
Come home
Balance check book - probably should have done that BEFORE the grocery store...
Spot teenager at his computer - he LIVES! 
Yell at teenager for browsing internet instead of doing his Algebra 
wait at bus stop with Beast for preschool bus.
Realize that the bus is not coming today (there is no preschool on Mondays and beast is STANDING NEXT TO ME.)
Is 3:00 too early for the alcohol?
Collect all kids for homework time
answer email for my listings on craigslist
sell an outdoor little tikes castle
nearly kill myself disassembling castle
Think about that shower I wanted this morning

look for food for dinner
become overwhelmed
step outside and see my friends car parking funky in front of my house
listen to them explain that 2 dogs are running free...realize they are my dogs...again.
collect dogs and place brick in front of gate. stupid gate
brick reminds me of green brick aquarium that still needs to be drained
which reminds of fish
which reminds me I still need to feed kids...
order pizza
feel guilty about serving garbage food
make them eat a salad with the pizza
Realize that it is now "ok" to start drinking
There is no wine open and I am too tired to open one myself.
It is now 7:00 pm and I am counting the minutes till everybody is in bed and I can take that shower I am still longing for.
If I am able to stand long enough.

Thought I should write this just in case anybody ever thought I "have things together."

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