Sunday, July 20, 2014

Life in flux.

I am still in shock.  One day my life was status quo...the next, everything fell apart.  No...we didn't lose a kid and no we aren't getting divorced.  But, my husband lost his job and had to accept a job in a new state.  A state on the other side of the continent!  He had to move right away and I am still in our home trying to prepare it for sale.  I am now in the process of helping my kids understand that although we ARE moving, we are moving as family.  More than once they have asked me what their next family will be like and if they will get to keep their favorite toys.  It must be bringing up so much fear in their little bodies.

Then, I have to go through and prepare our family home of loved clutter from 10 kids into some sort of show home of mis-matched furniture with sticky finger prints and crayon on the walls.  And if I can somehow make it a show home by "staging" each room and scrubbing (ok...repainting) the walls, how the heck do I keep it that way with all these little ones running around being kids?
*not my home - but, trust me, it COULD be...

The entire thing is completely illogical to me and happened so suddenly that I am struggling to understand what is happening in my life.  I know nobody in this new community I am moving to.  I don't have my friends for support.  I don't know who to contact for the services my special needs children require.  I spent 14 years developing the knowledge of services and support in my community and now I will need to start over in a community that appears to be far more limited in its access to such services, with children that are perhaps the most challenging I have ever taken on.

I have to keep reminding myself that there must be a greater plan that I am not understanding.  For now, I just keep plugging along, decluttering as I go and reassuring more than one kid that Daddy will be home to visit soon - and hoping he will fix everything that fell apart while he was gone.  The list of things that suddenly broke after he left is astonishing.

Sigh...Calgon, take me away - oh wait, the bathtub is leaking (seriously, it is on the list for dear hubby when he gets home on Thursday).